So we’ve been here for almost eight weeks now, and we’re starting to get the lay of the land. The other day I actually went grocery shopping without the GPS (to which The Husband said, “um, you can see it from our house. Not sure this is really an accomplishment.” Pshhh. There’s a big highway there. It’s tricky).

Anyhoo, even though it’s a relatively short time, we’re starting to notice certain things about Portland. It’s definitely weird, but there were some things we didn’t anticipate.

1. They pump your gas for you.

Oh, does this bring me back! The Husband’s brother pumped gas back in the day and I totes remember going to hang out with him at Dickee’s when I was 14 and I’d sit there drinking a slurpee while he jumped to the pump. But here it’s somewhat less charming. It’s the LAW that someone has to do it for you. But they still have the pay at the pump thing. So you open your window, say “fill please,” hand over your credit card, they do the button pushing and the filling and the receipt-retrieving and then you say thank you. Except it’s not quite that efficient when there’s only one attendant per eleventeen pumps and that person is baked and you’re sitting there for ten minutes with a full tank and the nozzle just waiting to be pulled out.

2. There’s weed everywhere.

If you hadn’t heard, you can buy marijuana recreationally (without a prescription) if you are over 21 in Oregon. And the market has definitely stepped up to meet this new legal demand – every street corner has a dispensary. And every street corner smells. (Per The Girl: “wow, it smells like my school here.”)

3. You’re only five minutes from the forest.

This is an amazing thing about Portland. You’re never buried in the concrete jungle. I’m routinely astonished by driving somewhere and making a turn and suddenly I’m surrounded by moss-covered trees and misty woods.

4. The beer game is strong.

So. Much. Beer. This is the beer selection at the little grocery store a few blocks from us where I walk to grab a couple of things for dinner:

(Pretty much the only thing between me and 30 pounds of beer belly at this point is Portland’s love of the IPA, which isn’t to my taste and somewhat narrows my choices.)

5. The traffic game is not strong.

Portland has the strangest intersections I’ve ever seen. They make no sense. They’re poorly lit, poorly controlled, and definitely not on any kind of grid. Between the angles and the bushes, you’re surrounded by blind spots. And since you’re pretty much always crossing a bike lane and it’s always raining and dark, you’ve got to keep your wits about you.

6. People crash into buildings.

Not sure if this is simply a result of number 5 or a combo of 5 and 2, but every couple of weeks there’s a story about someone driving their car into someone’s livingroom. Don’t believe me? Proof, proof, and more proof. All within the last two months. And there are more out there!

So pretty much I sit around drinking beer after a long hike and wait for a car to come crashing through the front window.